It’s not uncommon for athletes, in the heat of a playoff game or a fierce rivalry, to come up with particularly funny or trenchant quips on their situation. Though many professional sport players have little education, some nonetheless find excellent metaphors for life in their game. Collections of these quotes, often in coffee-table or humor books, provide a good amount of laughs, provided a casual fan has some idea of how the sport is played, or how the player composes him or herself.
The most common athletic quotes usually come from a mistake in speech, often taking their host unaware. “I owe a lot to my parents,” said Greg Norman, NBA star, “especially my mother and father.” Lou Dova, boxing trainer, once said “You can sum up this sport in two words…’you never know.’” Murray Walker said that, “With half this race to go, it is half over,” as well as “Excuse me while I interrupt myself.”
Other quotes may simply not make much, if any, sense. Soccer manager Ian Holloway had many memorable quotes, saying “We’ve got a good squad and we’re going to cut our cloth accordingly, but I think the cloth that we’ve got could make some good soup, if that makes any sense.” Upon being blamed for a loss, he quipped that “Apparently it’s my fault that the Titanic sank.” Another time he famously said, “If you are a cat burglar, it’s no good waiting about outside somebody’s home, looking sharp with your sack. Just get in there, grab valuables, and come out. I’m not proposing that obviously, it’s just an analogy.”
Similarly, baseball star Ricky Henderson enjoyed a bizarre but humorous career. He referred to himself in the third person, and once called his general manager to say “Kevin, this is Rickey. Calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.” An argument with a rival player escalated, and Henderson lashed out, saying “He needs to grow up a little bit. I ain’t a kid. When I broke into the game, he was crawling on his hands and knees. Unless he’s as old as I am. He probably is.” Henderson went so far as to frame a million-dollar signing bonus with a major league team, as he was so proud of the accomplishment that he could not bring himself to turn the check over to his bank.
Hockey players have a colorful mentality towards their sport, and often start their own wars through the media. Jeremy Roenick scored a goal against Patrick Roy and remarked that Roy must be looking for some parts of his equipment in the arena’s roof. Roy replied that he couldn’t hear what Jeremy said, as he had two Stanley Cup rings plugging his ear (Roenick had none). Gordie Howe once said that hockey players were bilingual, speaking English and profanity. Wade Belak, noted tough guy, once said his potential in the league would be “thirty goals, forty assists, one hundred points” (where point are simply goals added to assists). Jacques Plante, goalie for Montreal, said “how would you like it if every time you made a mistake at your job, a huge red light came on and twenty thousand people started booing?”
Of course, not all quotes are humorous; many are a source of inspiration. Softball quotes in particular are very courageous, as the sport requires extreme endurance and dexterity, and there are no major leagues to play in. Mary Whitten, second base for the University of California, said, “When I step into batter’s box, the fans, the noise, the cheers, they all disappear. For that moment, the world is just a battle between me and the pitcher. And more than anything, I want to win.” Many athletes share her spirit, even if they cannot vocalize it as well.